[Excerpt] She recently told me that her husband was diagnosed with A.D.H.D. [attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder], and she’s been reading about how to better support him. But he often dismisses her efforts with jokes — like saying, “Nothing will help unless you and the kids move out,” or brushing off her concerns with, “That’s your problem, not mine.” He plays this off as humor, but it doesn’t feel harmless.