ADHD Weekly, April 23, 2026

Ask the CHADD’s Health Information Specialist Team

Question: Our daughter has ADHD, but we haven’t told her about the diagnosis yet. She’s ten years old and has been doing alright in school, but she is starting to have some problems. Should we tell her she was diagnosed two years ago? How should we tell her about her diagnosis at this point?

Health Information Specialist Team: You’re right to pause here—this is one of those moments that really matters, and your instinct to handle it thoughtfully is exactly what your child needs.

Every parent of a child with a medical diagnosis, including ADHD, faces the question of when and how to explain it. There isn’t a single “right” moment, and for many families it is an ongoing conversation. You know your child best—her personality, her sensitivities, and what she’s ready to understand. By age ten, most children already know they are struggling in ways they can’t quite explain. When their questions go unanswered, they often fill in the gaps themselves, and those guesses can be far from the truth.

Starting the conversation now gives you the chance to bring her good information and accurate answers instead of secondhand and possibly incorrect information she might receive from peers—and, more importantly, for you to frame ADHD in a way that supports her confidence and sense of self.

What the experts suggest

“When we sit down to talk to a child about ADHD, it’s critical that we present the whole picture,” writes Liz Angoff, PhD, [https://chadd.org/attention-article/explaining-adhd-to-kids/] a licensed educational psychologist. “It’s too simplistic—and just not accurate—to say that ADHD means you have trouble with attention. Rather, ADHD is a pattern of strengths and challenges that make some environments easy to navigate and others much more challenging. In fact, sometimes, the same characteristic that leads to challenges in one setting can make kids shine in another.”

“I believe in being as transparent as possible,” adds Jonathan D. Carroll, MA, a special education advocate and educational advisor. “If you’re honest and open about ADHD, your children will begin to learn more about it. I cannot tell you how many times I’ve heard things about ADHD that just aren’t true (and frankly hurtful). But when you’re given the opportunity to talk about ADHD openly, many misconceptions will be clarified and the disorder better understood.”

While it’s important to talk honestly about the challenges your daughter may face with ADHD, that should never be the end of the story. Equally important is helping her see her strengths, her abilities, and the things she does well. As Andrew Adesman, MD, explains, children benefit from understanding themselves in a balanced and affirming way.

“Everyone has strengths and weaknesses, and when talking about ADHD with kids, it has to be within the context that there are things a child does well and things he or she does less well,” he says. Dr. Adesman is a former member of CHADD’s professional advisory board and the chief of developmental and behavioral pediatrics at Steven and Alexandra Cohen Children’s Medical Center of New York.

Be ready to talk about ADHD

Make sure you’re up to date about ADHD. You can learn more about ADHD on CHADD’s website before you talk with your child or schedule a meeting their doctor.

There are several books that you can use to start the conversation and to answer your daughter’s questions later on as they arise. You can find many of these books through your local library or favorite bookstore. They include:

• Attention, Girls! A Guide to Learn All About Your ADHD by Patricia O. Quinn
• Learning To Slow Down & Pay Attention: A Book for Kids About ADHD by Kathleen G. Nadeau, Ellen B. Dixon
• A Walk in the Rain with a Brain by Edward Hallowell
• Cory Stories: A Kid’s Book About Living With ADHD by Jeanne Kraus

Keep the information appropriate for your child’s age. A ten-year-old can understand more about how her brain functions than a younger child. For a child under age ten, you might talk more about behaviors. For all children, the goal is to offer reassurance that ADHD is not who they are, it is something they have. The good news is that her parents love her and have a plan to help her.

Starting the conversation

It can be difficult to know what to say when discussing ADHD with your child. Keep in mind your child’s age and experience. An older child might be interested in the science of how her brain works and wants details. A younger child just wants to know that she’s okay the way she is and that her parents are going to help her with the things that are difficult for her.

Kara Tamanini, MS, LMHC, a therapist who works with children, advises parents to keep the conversation reassuring and constructive.

“Tell the truth, but do not sugarcoat things,” she says. “The reality is that your child will have to work at this just as much as you and his or her teachers will. When you tell your child that they have ADHD, let them know that they are not alone. Every person is different in many different ways, and we should celebrate these differences.”

Her recommendations include:

Don’t say, “You are ADHD.” Your child is not a medical diagnosis. Try saying, “ADHD is just something you have, but it doesn’t define who you are today or who you will grow up to be.”

Likewise, avoid “You have a disorder.” This can sound scary to a child. Instead, try saying, “Your brain works this way, just as some people’s eyes work in a way that they need glasses.”

Avoid saying, “You need medication to behave or to learn.” This sends the wrong message about medication and its role. Explain that the medication is just one part of a plan to help your child be successful. It is one of many tools that will help her filter out distractions so she can learn or listen the way she wants to.

Try this framework, and adapt according to your conversation:

What you are experiencing or struggling with is very normal for a child who has ADHD. You are a regular child, you just have something else that makes it a little harder for you than for most of your friends.

We are working together to help make things better at home and school.

Part of having ADHD is that you can have so many thoughts at once that you don’t know where to begin. You can be so full of energy that you just don’t know what to do with it sometimes. We can find ways to turn those frustrations into good things for you.

ADHD won’t go away, but we are a team—you, me, your teachers, your doctors—and we can handle this together. There will be good days and there will be bad days, but we love you just as you are and it will all work out.

ADHD is not an excuse for bad behavior, but we will work together to find solutions to help when the symptoms of ADHD cause trouble for you.

Empowering your child

ADHD is a lifespan condition. The majority of people do not outgrow it, and some find their symptoms become less severe over time but still remain. Part of your role as your child grows up is to teach her to find solutions that work for her and to advocate for herself. Teaching your daughter about ADHD and encouraging her to find answers to her questions empowers her to more successfully navigate her life as she enters her teen years and approaches adulthood. Including your daughter in discussions with her teachers and modeling how to ask for what she needs are other ways you prepare her for self-advocacy.

Learn more about having the ADHD conversation with your child:

• Explaining ADHD to Kids
• How to Talk with Your Child About Starting ADHD Meds
• Diagnosis and Treatment of Children and Teens Toolkit
• Letting Go At the Right Time: Tips For Supportive Parenting
• How to Talk to Your Child About Your Own ADHD

Do you have a question about ADHD or are you looking to find support from professionals or peers? Call CHADD’s ADHD Helpline, Monday-Friday, 1-5 PM ET, at 866-200-8098. Or email us at Customer_Service@CHADD.org, subject line For Health Information Specialist Team.